December 3, 2009

Strategies through the Door of Fear

I have to admit the door of fear was scaring me. I was really excited
about going to the desert and surviving a seemingly impossible situation
and living to tell about it.  Where did my courage go?  My goal is to
build memories and experiences for my family that are unique and will
give my children different perspectives on living.  We lived off the grid
before, so I wasn't worried about that.  In fact I welcomed it because it
forces you into a different rhythm of life.

My door has started to take on a little bit of a fun element in the
scorpion.  I thought Yeah, she would definitely have a flashlight for eyes
so that she would be able to find me.  In exaggerating my fear, I actually
was able to start laughing at it..I thought about people like Evil
Knievel, who thrive on doing things that people said couldn't be done. How
do they strategize when looking at the door of fear?  I think they look
past it.  I think they look at what they will gain rather than what they
could lose.  I think too that they have had enough experience to believe
that there is always a way out.  But I also think that they get addicted
to the rush that fear can create.  It distracts them from a lot of other
things they may not be dealing with.  They have an excuse, or at least a
mental escape while they are focused on the job at hand.

So I guess we should ask our self

  • What is our strategy when dealing with fear? 
  • How do we dress it up so that we can go through the door? 
  • How do we distract ourselves long enough to push past the feelings that would seem to overwhelm us?  
  • How do we get "focus?"


Anonymous said...

You have been busy. I like the way the scorpion is coming along.
You ask some really good questions and pose thoughts that make one think. I like that!

Quilt Architect said...

Thank you Ancient Cloth. I have really enjoyed doing this embroidery.
It is good to ask ourselves questions and then observe.

Kari said...

Turning fear into art, as you are doing, is a wonderful way to deal with fear! A scorpion with a flashlight for eyes ~ I love that image very much. xo Kari of Writing Up A Storm

arlee said...

We have to remember also that the door swings the other way, letting things IN as well as us OUT. If we had no doors of any kind, symbolic or emotional, we would have a vaccuum, never a good thing.
And sometimes, all you have to do is let fresh air in.

Quilt Architect said...

This is very good Arlee.
I had a dream last night in which Catherine was getting cold. I gave her a quilt that I had since I was 6, made by my great grandmother. I turned around and there was the door wide open. I told her that if she would just keep the door closed she would get warm.
Sometimes I have problems emotionally keeping the door closed. One way that I know to do this (like I also know I need to drink water and don't) is to say "Cancel" when something that I can't control and creates a negative "wind" in my mind...that is the whole grooves that have worn a know the endless conversations that you can't resolve ...lots of symbols in the wind cut off the conversation by saying cancel and think of something else till you have worn a better path to somewhere that you want to go.
So doors are also boundaries.
I think I may need to put a lock on the door as well. But it could be that I painted my door in a way to scare predators away, someone that I felt intimidated by....still more symbols. But then again I keep flirting with the idea of how to keep the craziness going...with the seductive scorpion????
By the way this is a parent relationship not a husband/wife one. I am starting to at least be unashamed enough to say that I have a problem with my mother. I can't be in a relationship with her. And there is not a way to get a divorce. I have to shut the door in order to survive and it feels like I am a villain when I have been the victim of a loveless mother who is in love with herself.

Quilt Architect said...

Kari - Art is a creative vent to let the smoke out.
I like the flashlight eyes too.